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my life - starring myself [finally]
don't forget to be the way you are
at times like these, i wish my name was "johnsons" 
9th-Jan-2009 05:13 pm
you know you feel for someone when their tears trigger your own.
losing someone is never easy. and i wish i could make it better, but i can't and no one can.
my favorite quote: "she's really scared."
finally. someone said it, admitted it, TALKED about it.
wouldn't you be?
i for one know i will be. life is the only thing i have ever known. death is something the scares the shit out of me. how does it feel? what do you see? what are you thinking the moment that it slips away from you?
these are all questions i have always wondered and will only know when that time comes and THAT, is scary.
there's no going back from that. it's not like trying liver and onions. you can't put it down and order something else.
1,2,3, that's it. then.....what?
i only hope i can go the same way. peaceful, and knowing that i am now, and have been always, loved.
everyone always says "they only want to be loved" like it's a bad thing. is it really? try asking someone who has to face dying alone. striving to be loved is not a sign of weakness, it's a sign of wisdom, i think. it's all we have, in the end. and it's the only thing that matters, in the end.
when my time comes, will it matter how much i had in my checking account, or how big my house was? no. why would it? if someone loves you,  you will always be here. and that is amazing to me.
sorry, i get so psuedo philosophical at times like these. but it makes life seem more real. and that is never a bad thing.
it can only make you more appreciative.
so, to my darling, darling friends who are having their hearts broken as i type this, i hope you know that you are loved, and know that you loving her mattered. it's the only thing you could do for her right now, and it's exactly what she needs.
i love you, and i always will.
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